I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize