whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
