He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I party with great urgency now.
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