LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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