Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
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