i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
