he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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