He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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