I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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