I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
