great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this beer tastes like vomit already
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
