Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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