What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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