Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
