I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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