I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
