Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
