Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
