I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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