Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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