i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
