You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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