You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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