Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
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Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
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I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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