it hurts more in the daytime
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
