It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
FUCK WHALES
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