it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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