He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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