So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
