just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
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want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
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I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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