Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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