RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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