We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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