i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
