The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm both gender and math confused
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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