Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
