chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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