I accidentally burped into my bong.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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