He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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