I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
