? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
