Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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