Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
