she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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