careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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