i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
