we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
