HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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