I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
