I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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