i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You're like the curious george of whores
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
