she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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