girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
