And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
