Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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