i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm too high and old for this...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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