I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
